FluentNSmiles

:: Tuesday's Tea With Me ::

2012-02-07T05:02:00.000-08:00

Doesn't this look like the perfect home to be invited over for tea? I saw this gem in the middle of a very unassuming neighborhood and was just delighted by its charm. Let's pretend we're on a porch swing watching some crazy lady pull up with a camera a take a picture.

The weather has been rather warm. Perhaps we should have some lemonade instead? Help yourself the picker is in the fridge.

So this week I have been taking a little poll. I have been trying to define the word "honor." I realized on my way to church last week that I don't really have a very good understanding of this word. I'm trying to wrap my mind around what it looks like in verb form. The following is what I was able to come up with so far... and admittedly it's not much. I'm not sure I really understand honor at all.

Honor is doing something for someone, even though you don't have to. Which is different from slavery. It is a willful choice to do what is asked, despite your knowledge that you are free not to.

Any additional thoughts?

As a man thinketh... so is he.

2012-02-06T14:29:00.000-08:00

"The body is the servant of the mind. It obeys the operations of the mind whether they be deliberately chosen or automatically expressed. At the bidding of unlawful thoughts the body sinks rapidly into disease and decay; at the command of glad and beautiful thoughts it becomes clothed with youthfulness and beauty.

Change of diet will not help a man who will not change his thoughts. Who does not measure his beliefs and where he places his trust. When one makes his or her thoughts pure, they no longer desire impure food.

Strong, pure, and happy thoughts build up the body in vigor and grace. The body is a delicate and plastic instrument, which responds readily to the thought by which it is impressed and habits of thought will produce their own effects, good or bad, upon it."

- As A Man Thinketh by: James Allen

I have recently been thinking. I am finding that I think A LOT. But have have been giving particular attention to the effects of my thought life upon my body, upon my circumstances, upon my level of inner peace, and upon my relationships. Boy. What you think about really effects your whole world. How then can I gain discipline over my thoughts? How then can I train my mind?

I believe that trust is one major component. If our thoughts are a ship, than what we trust in is the anchor. Rather than sailing aimlessly about, I want to evaluate where my thoughts and visions are anchored before I set sail on the vast oceans of my mind.

In what do you trust? Where to you place your faith? In your family? In your self? In your job? How about your savings account or investments? And perhaps another question for some of you is, "How do I identify where I am placing my trust?"

Girl of the Limberlost

2012-02-05T22:56:00.000-08:00

When I was young my mom used to order these G rated videos from I have no idea where. But they were good wholesome movies with lovely stories and lessons within.

There was one that I especially loved and I would watch it over and over. It was called "The Girl of the Limberlost." It is the story of a young girl who loves the forest. She finds a refuge in the shade of age old oaks and soft green mosses. A tangible safety and solitude within.

So today I was Jenna of the Limberlost.

::Tuesday's Tea With Me::

2012-01-24T06:46:00.000-08:00

Golly it has been so cold in the mornings. It was so cold the other day my hands nearly stuck to my steering wheel. However... it's been perfect for a nice hot tea to start off the day No?

So I was fiddling with my new record player yesterday and I was trying to get certain radio stations to come in clearly. I was turning the knob this way and that, and out of the radio pops this voice that says,

"Good intentions will not provide spiritual strength."

I sat there thinking on that for a second and the voice kept going...

"We cannot possibly be prepared for life's challenges without practicing spiritual discipline such as fellowship, prayer, and reading about God's promises."

The man kept talking but I quickly fumbled for the off button so I could process those words before my brain moved on. That's pretty deep.

How will I have time for spiritual disciplines such as prayer (connecting with God) if I have 5 gadgets in front of me, that with the touch of a button, connect me to people? I can become so over-connected with people that there is no opening to hear that still small voice. And frankly that quiet gentle voice is the one that really matters. It's what guides me along my very own unique path. I don't want to follow the masses. I want to be Jenna.

How can you observe a discipline daily, that will strengthen your spirit? That will cut your attention loose from all the wires and let your soul take a breath of fresh air? Is it a morning walk? Is it charging your phone in the kitchen instead of your nightstand? Is it keeping electronics out of your bedroom? Spending 20 minutes of undivided attention with one child, or one pet? Not answering phone calls for a day or two and returning messages later? How can we block all those things that seek to grab our attention and distract us. Because meaning to slow down, is not slowing down. And delayed obedience is disobedience.

Just something to think on. Love you guys. Hope this cold weather affords you a quiet moment to reflect and be intentional with your time. Your life.

Hugs,
-Jenna Jill

::Tuesday's Tea With Me::

2012-01-17T12:04:00.000-08:00

Let's take our tea out onto the patio this afternoon. Oh and look who came out to join us in this graceful day... LADYBUGS. I love ladybugs!

In other news, Rose (the character in my book) and I both have poison oak at the same time. I was pretty tickled about that. What are the odds of that? Mine is almost all cleared up though. What would hiking be without an occasional fee?

And onto other matters of the day... Facebook Sabbatical update:

So far my life has not been drastically altered. I thought something was going to "happen" and I'd miss it. So far... nothing has really "happened." Then I started thinking since when has the responsibility of knowing "the scoop" fallen on us? Didn't it used to be, that if something happened that you were unaware of, someone would let you know? Preferably someone that was involved. When did it shift to me needing to check Facebook everyday to be sure I don't miss it? And then I started thinking that maybe my need to check Facebook so often was actually due to my own need to feel like I was in control.

You know the person at work that is always trying to get the scoop first. But she gets it in an unorthodox way, creating boundary issues along the way. Why is it so difficult for us to lean back, and let information find us? Because if we are first to know... what? If we know first we are important? We are smart? We are what? Stressed if you ask me. If I don't know, I don't worry.

So far I haven't noticed anything that I have missed but I have discovered an overwhelming since of peace and rest. Shoot, I pulled out cards today to write a couple hand written...with a pen, paper, and a stamp... letters. Remember those things? (That just gave me a thought. I shall write them by candlelight, while listening to a record next time.)

Yep. This is the life for me. Candles. Letters. Records. Reading. And my friend Camille got me back into poetry mode. Yes. Been a while since I wrote a poem. Ahhh... Satisfaction. How costly it is, and oh how worth it. [deep sigh]

Love you guys. May you go into this day with a deep sense of God's powerful presence with you.
Xoxo
-Jenna

Sunshine

2012-01-14T17:31:00.000-08:00

I really don't know how to express what joy this little fur ball brings me. She's just so cute and cuddly. And she loves the sunshine just like me.

Mmmm....

2012-01-13T21:09:00.000-08:00

You know I might not claim to be a fabulous cook, but I sure do like baking. I love the way it makes the whole house smell like a delicious treat.

I opted to pull together something a bit more complicated than brownies today. I think making pie crust actually requires some practice, but that's not bad for my first try. Plus I didn't have a rolling pin and I had to find a pinch-hitter. (A can of Pam. Lol.)

But the house smells heavenly.

Little Dandelion

2012-01-12T15:45:00.000-08:00

"Simple and fresh and fair from winter's close emerging,

As if no artifice of fashion, business, politics, had ever been,

Forth from its sunny nook of shelter'd grass--innocent, golden, calm as the dawn,

The spring's first dandelion shows its trustful face."

"Leaves of Grass," by Walt Whitman

::Tuesday's Tea With Me::

2012-01-10T05:11:00.000-08:00

"The most I can do for my friend is simply to be his friend. I have no wealth to bestow on him. If he knows that I am happy in loving him, he will want no other reward. Is not friendship divine in this?"

-Henry David Thoreau

Approximately one week into my Facebook sabbatical and I am coming to see the following truth in a touchable way:
Less... is more!

Going To Grandma's

2012-01-07T15:14:00.000-08:00

It was my favorite kind of Saturday today. The kind where I get to go over to Grandma and Grandpa's for breakfast. Plus they both have green thumbs and while I'm there I like to try to figure out how to get one too. Today was beautiful and sunny so Grandma and I explored the garden and I received some big fresh lemons right off the tree. Mmmm.... they smell magnificent.

And I love Grandma's blue and white dishes.

Celebrate Serenity

2012-01-06T18:42:00.000-08:00

Truly... I don't even know what to do with myself. This Crosley turntable is the most fabulous thing I think I have ever purchased. It sings to my heart for hours. I'm glued to the spot. If I had known listening to records would feed my soul like this I'd have bought one years ago.

In fact the idea first planted itself in my heart several years back when I was completing my undergraduate degree at Point Loma Nazarene University. I had parked off campus and was walking through a quaint little neighborhood on my way to class, when I passed a home with the garage door open and heaven floating out of that little space. I stopped and looked into the garage which was very neat and tidy, where a man sat tinkering at his workbench. I could hear the sounds of classical music floating through the air and I remember I was so mesmerized I even turned around and walked back to take it in longer.

Sometimes in life there are things that speak to your soul, long before you know it is a part of you. I think my heart saw a piece of itself in that man's garage.

Chicago

2012-01-04T21:14:00.000-08:00

I found a baby skunk! We were best buds until she actually saw me. I don't know if she was deaf or what but I was following her all around for about 10 minutes while she was digging and gathering food, and then Bam! Stiff as a board she went. I took that as my cue to exit.

[The name Chicago in the language of the Potowatomi Indian tribe means, "wild and smelly."]

::Tuesday's Tea With Me::

2012-01-03T15:27:00.000-08:00

Alright.

Well. I wasn't going to talk about this. Because it seemed rather vulnerable. [deep sigh] BUT... since my friend Meghan had the guts to share a similar type matter, I took my cue from her and mustered up the courage to share.

As some of you may know my New Years Resolution was to take a Facebook sabbatical. Now I had a feeling it would be hard to do. Kind of. But I didn't realize the impact it would have in only a 24 hour period. Without Facebook there to make me "think" that I was connected, I had to come to grips with the reality that I'm really not. Damn!

So this morning I have been taking stock of my relational life; the connections I do have, the ones maybe I should have, and what in the world I have been feeding off of in the mean time. This whole year has been a theme of increasing the quality of my life in a variety of areas. So here I am facing yet another opportunity for improvement: relationships. How do you develop quality over quantity in that regard?

Stay tuned. I don't have the answer yet. But I'm hoping to develop some insights. :-)

P.S. Grandma brought me over more fresh roses from her garden. Yes!

Little Boys

2012-01-02T20:42:00.000-08:00

I love cows and I love little boys. This cracked me up.

Stampede!!!

Of course hearing "Hey look at that lady taking pictures of the cows" ring across the field leads me to believe that they were wanting to get in on some of the camera action.

An Unspoken Rule

2012-01-02T15:42:00.000-08:00

I am totally loving my book right now. I want to share this excerpt because it hit me like a sack of potatoes..

"Aaron caught a glimpse of an insight and latched onto it. He'd broken an unspoken rule --- one person did not reach into another person's life and make decisions for her... or him. It seemed this was a lesson he should have learned long ago. As his thoughts followed that trail, he understood something else. It wasn't his place to pry his parents' grip free of this farm. He wasn't wrong in showing them options for a different life or in sacrificing his time to help them. But his way was overzealous. They were mature adults with the right to hang on to this black hole until they or the bank said otherwise. He'd learned in rehab that a spouse, friend, or parent can't make someone want to get clean. And he couldn't make his parents want to leave this place. He'd banked on having more influence over his parents than he really had." -The Harvest of Grace

An unspoken rule. One should not reach into another persons's life and make decisions for them. [hand raised in the air.] I'm busted. I'm guilty.

Here's a quote I've been letting soak into the soil of my soul:

"For I am convinced that everything as it is in itself is holy. You've got your hands full just taking care of your own life before God. Forget about deciding what's right for each other." -Romans 14:13

Oh crap. I totally haven't lived this way. At all. I'm telling you I was totally convinced I was supposed to tell other people how best to live their life. I believed that for 29 years. Ha ha ha... That's pretty dumb. I think it's pretty funny right now. What a pinhead. Overzealous is a gentle way to put it if you ask me. Arrogant and presumptuous is another way to say it. I just didn't know. But I DO now. :-D Hip hip hurray! YAHOOOOO!!!! I get it. I get it. I get it.! YES!

It Is Well

2012-01-01T16:36:00.000-08:00

I found this old piece of wood when I was out hiking way back in the hills one day. I couldn't part with it so I strapped it to my pack and carried it all the way home with me.

I decided to make a sign out of it.

Delve Into 2012

2011-12-29T18:59:00.001-08:00

"Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God."

-Corrie ten Boom

Dear Jenna: | Bed Wetting/Enuresis

2011-12-27T19:45:00.000-08:00

Dear Jenna,
Our newest member of the family has been regressing in his potty training since coming to live with us full time. He was fully potty trained. But in the past month he has been wetting the bed nearly every night, and sometimes having accidents during the day. I am going to pull my hair out if I have to change another sheet.
-Losing Hair

Dear Losing Hair,
I actually just wrote an article about this a few months back for some friends at my church who were experiencing the same difficulties. (See below.) Be encouraged you are not alone.
-Jenna

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Enuresis: Bedwetting and Regression

Jenna J. Gough, ACSW

(Written for foster and adoptive parents.)

Your child has been potty trained for a year or more even. You’re enjoying the diaper free life, and bam… all of the sudden they are wetting their pants, or pooping their pants, peeing and pooping in strange places, hiding it under the bed, or in their clothes. In the blink of an eye, you are back to washing sheets every morning and re-making beds like its your morning cup of coffee. Not cool.

To start with lets look at peeing and pooping our pants as a behavior. I’m going to share something with you that changed my life. It’s worth a lot of money, and it is a major shortcut in addressing child behaviors. Are you ready? “Every behavior is rooted in a need.” Needs cannot be argued or disputed they are present and present to stay. Some of our basic needs include, the need for food, water, and shelter. But in addition to being a body, we are also a mind and spirit. Some of our psychological needs include; safety, security, love, and affection. Abraham Maslow, was a guy who explained what he called a “hierarchy of needs.” Maslow drew a pyramid and at the very bottom of the pyramid he placed our most basic needs. Maslow explains that if our most basic needs are not met, that we will be unable to function on higher levels such as learning new things, developing social skills, performing well in school, etc.

Now this may surprise you, but “bedwetting” is a behavior. As we now know, bedwetting emerges because of unmet needs. The number one thing that bedwetting is associated with is a need for a sense of security. What we mean by “security,” is the belief that everything is going to be okay. At this age, children don’t believe necessarily because they are told so, but rather they believe because they experience it. A child must know that their needs will be taken care of. Many children have not experienced this while living with their biological mom or dad. As a result their mind spends time thinking about when they will get food, rather than being filled with thoughts of play doh and crafts or something that your own child possibly would think about. When a child’s mind is consumed with thoughts on how to get their basic needs met, this produces anxiety and uncertainty. Anxiety is also closely related to bedwetting. So its stands to reason that a great start for addressing your child’s regression, is to work at various ways in which you can restore their sense of security and reduce the level of their anxiety right?

Easy for you to say lady. How exactly do I do that?

Nighttime

There are several practical ways to address bedwetting. In addition to the approaches listed below I recommend seeing a licensed child counselor who can work with you to identify patterns in the child’s behavior. Never-the-less here are a few practical approaches.

Limit the child’s fluid intake several hours before bedtime.

Set an alarm and take the child to the restroom in the middle of the night. 1 or 2 times depending on what you feel is needed.

Consult with your pediatrician about medications that can help with bed wetting for a period of time before weaning them off when the child is ready.

Use a special bedtime spray (for example a lavender scent) and explain to the child that it is a special spray. You can be creative with small children explaining that it keeps monsters away, or that it attracts guardian angels, etc. From my experience dad’s can be really good at this part.

Go to the store with the child and purchase something that is very soft and cuddly, like a blanket or a stuffed animal. Make a BIG woohaa about how this is her special bedtime blanket or rabbit or what have you. The point is to give the child an added sense of comfort during nighttime hours.

Daytime

Since the child is expressing outwardly, what they are feeling inwardly, a highly recommended approach to day time accidents, when they occur, is to remain calm. This will reassure the child that although they are feeling anxious and out of control, you are not. Even though it is tempting to believe this will go on for all of eternity, it will not. The child will eventually regain a sense of security and will be able to do this more quickly if you the parent also exude a calm energy. Whatever they are experiencing does not scare you.

Some things you might say to the child during one of these time are:

“Oh you had an accident. I understand you are not feeling well. You will feel better soon. Let’s clean you up.” After cleaning up, a quick hug and a reassuring “You’ll be okay” will go a long ways.

Keep it brief and have a “no big deal” attitude whenever possible. If you need to go pull your hair out after… feel free. The more frustrated you become with the child, the longer it will be before they are able to regain their footing. Talk to a counselor or a friend and express your frustrations in a safe place, away from the child. Do not forget the more calm reassurance you offer, the quicker they will get through it.

In closing, remember that this child will need some time to experience a new way of life. It will take him several weeks if not months, to learn (without you telling him) that your home is different then what he has experienced before. Essentially, the child will need to begin to trust that he will be okay with your family and in your home. And kids can’t be tricked about this kind of stuff. They don’t feel safe because someone simply told them they will be safe. They tend to wait and see for themselves if the coast is clear. I would encourage you to be yourself, have fun, and let your new family member observe all the wonderful things that make your family the special family that it is.

::Tuesday's Tea With Me::

2011-12-27T05:24:00.000-08:00

A Cup of Tea

When the world is all at odds
And the mind is all at sea
Then cease the useless tedium
And brew a cup of tea.

There is magic in its fragrance,
There is solace in its taste;
And the laden moments vanish
Somehow into space.

And the world becomes a lovely thing!
There's beauty as you'll see;
All because you briefly stopped
To brew a cup of tea.

Tea helps our head and heart.
Tea medicates most every part.
Tea rejuvenates the very old.
Tea warms the hands of those who're cold.

(J. Jonker, Amsterdam, c.1670)

I stumbled upon this poem the other day and I couldn't wait to share it with you. It inspired me to search out a cozy nook and let my mind amble about unfettered by a schedule but spurred on by my heart. May it spark a light in your soul the way it did mine.

What comes forth from your heart when given permission to run unbridled through capacious fields? Go for it. Let your heart run
free this morning. Yippeee!

-Jenna Jill

A Reflection of Childhood

2011-12-26T22:07:00.000-08:00

When I was a little girl, my mom would drive me out to visit her parents who lived on "The Ranch." I would stay with my grandparents for a week at a time and participate in all things country. (Including country line dancing.) I can recall every detail of that ranch. From the house that sits atop a hill hidden amidst oak trees, to the barn below with a corral, "the squeeze," and the hen house.

I remember climbing down into the well on hot days to swim with my brothers. I mostly held on to the ladder though while they tried to drown each other for fun. Swimming in a tank with a two foot hole for light at the top isn't exactly without its perils. The sides of the tank were slimy and who knows what was under the water!

There were also rules that accompanied your stay on The Ranch. If Grandpa said "Stop," or "Freeze." You froze. On one blistery summer afternoon Grandpa and I were walking to the barn when he suddenly said very firmly, "Stop." Of course I thought we were having another drill, but no. There was really a snake coiled up to my left. Grandpa ran to the barn and emerged with a shovel. A shovel? Where's the gun? But he had already identified the snake as a king snake which to my delight "is a friend." (They eat gophers and such. AND... they kill rattlers.) I never have liked killing anything. Unless its after me. Then I'll kill and kill it good. But as long as its being its animal self I've never enjoyed the thought of cutting short its time here.

One of my favorite things to do on the ranch was to go for a picnic. Picnics, ranch style, are nothing like going to a park full of screaming kids. After Grandma had packed and prepared our lunch we would head down to the barn to saddle our horses. I loved this part. First, you take out the brushes and brush your horse down good. Leaving a burr beneath your saddle could make for a rather exciting ride, so as to avoid having a heart attack or obtaining an unnecessary injury... brush well. After a good grooming, you throw on your blanket, then your saddle, and then tighten the cinch. Not too tight or he'll buck with discomfort, and not too loose or you're in for some fun when you attempt to hop on. Once your horse is saddled you grab hold and swing your leg over and into your stirrups. Yeeehaw! Here we go.

Don't forget your hat, which you should not leave on the fence post. Because if you do, it can blow off and spook the horse. (Learned that one the hard way. You'd be shocked how fast a horse can move when it spooks. I know I was. I felt like a cartoon. There was the horse and I was the blur behind it hanging on for dear life.)

Grandpa always knew the best places for a picnic lunch. I specifically remember one such place. It was back up in a ravine behind the house and Grandpa's workshop. We made our way through the herd, checking the cattle as we went, and slowly made our way up the incline to an old oak tree.

If I'm not mistaken this is the same area my brother was when he decided to shoot something other than cans and took aim at a large bird flying directly over him. The bird happened to be a buzzard, and my brother happened to hit it. Ahhh ha ha ha.... while plummeting to the earth it must have decided to go out fighting because its wing suddenly folded in such a way that it took direct aim at my brother's head. Ohhhh it hurts my side thinking about him dancing around trying to get out of its way as it spiraled down to earth.

Anyway, back to picnics. Grandpa would unroll the little deal at the back of his saddle and take out the lunch Grandma had made. I remember unfolding the wax paper and there would sit two half sandwiches. One with meat and lettuce and tomato fresh from their garden, and one with peanut butter and home made jam. We would sit in the shade of that oak tree and rest up while enjoying the food that had been made with such care. A little further on up the hill and we had reached the top. Grandpa showed me the old rocks that sat watch up there. I remember they were bedecked with moss of all colors. We thought that was so pretty. We even had a view of the ocean.

Grandma had her part in keeping the place running as well. She was up early each morning making breakfast, doing the wash, and hanging clothes out on the line to dry. I LOVED that part. Grandma's laundry always smelled of fresh air and sunshine. I never failed to notice the scent on my sheets as she tucked me in to bed at night. I would lay there listening to the trucks rumble by on the highway below and feeling so cozy I would squeal into my pillow so I didn't startle my grandparents.

At times I have dreamed so vividly of being back on the ranch that I awake in that little room that overlooks the highway, with fresh sheets, and Grandma's sewing machine. I have to shake my head a few times to clear it before realizing that I am here in my own home and have lived 29 full years of life. Yet still, a piece of my heart will always remain there.

Live Nativity

2011-12-24T01:33:00.000-08:00

I went to see the Live Nativity with my parents this year. I haven't been to one since I was very little. I think I may have been a bit overly excited. My favorite part was that they gave us a gold coin at the beginning. On our journey into Bethlehem when we came to the gate we had to give the guard our gold coin before we could enter.

What I found hysterical was watching my dad try to drive, keep track of the narrative CD, and keep it on the right track for each scene, turn on the head light so he could find his gold coin, surrender his gold coin to the guards, get out of the way so I could take pictures, make our car come to a complete stop so they wouldn't turn out blurry, and remain sane while my mother reported that there were cars waiting behind us. I have no clue how my brother did this with his three children. We could hardly manage with three adults.

Dear Jenna: | Nightmares/Night Terrors

2011-12-24T00:55:00.000-08:00

I know whether you're a working or stay at home mom it can be hard to get out and compare notes with a bunch of other moms. Your child's pediatrician will give you charts and explain where they fall percentage wise for their physical development, but I find that moms also want to know where their children fall in the emotional category. It can be hard to know what is normal for your child's emotional development, when you don't exactly have the opportunity to poll all the children in the neighborhood while doing laundry, cleaning up messes, and finding time to actually intentionally teach them what you value.

So I thought I'd begin sharing some of the questions my friends shoot my way. Especially when I see themes. So here is a theme I have seen recently.... Nightmares.

Dear Jenna,
Okay so how do you deal with kids when they have nightmares? Maybe I'm overreacting and she just wants to cuddle with me and is using a tactic that will work with me, but so far all I can think to do is let her sleep in bed with me.
-Softy

Dear Softy,
First of all it sounds like you're a fabulous Mama. (And since you happen to be my friend, I KNOW you are.) Secondly nightmares in children are common between the ages of 3-6. This has to do with the development of their brain at this stage in conjunction with their emotional development. Which means... you can stop feeling guilty now. ;-) You and all the other mothers out there.
I would be remiss if I did not first recommend to take your child to their doctor. However for night terrors the most common recommendation from a pediatrician that I have heard is to let them grow out of it.
-Jenna

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Nightmares/Night Terrors

Jenna J. Gough, ACSW

Here is the most common technique I suggest to parents with children experiencing either nightmares or night terrors.

Prayer: (spiritual piece)

Have the child's Father pray over their room. (If father is unable to do it or would rather not, the person in the home with the most spiritual authority is most desirable for this task. Be that Dad, Grandpa, Mom, or older brother.... etc.) The child should not be present. This could become super religious but need not be. It is simply exercising authority over the space in which your child sleeps, and telling any negative energy, spirit, etc. that it is not desired and to leave.

The Bad Dream Cleaning Spray: (psychological piece)

Get a spray bottle. Fill it with water and lavender.

Just before bed time, have (preferably) Father, go into the child's room with the "bad dream cleaning spray." Have Father spray down the entire room for bad dreams. (While child is watching.) Father should make sure he checks the corners of the room, under the bed, and most definitely the closet. Also, be sure to ask the child if there are any spots that you may have missed. Thoroughly spray down any areas the child may point out.

The psychology behind it? At this age the child is learning to feel safe and secure on his/her own. This sense of security is largely transferred from parent to child. The child will associate the scent of lavender or whichever you choose, with their Father (in whose presence, the child is safe and secure.) You can also use Dad's aftershave, deodorant, whatever you'd like. Just don't let them know that it's just dad's aftershave. Get it right. This is the "bad dream cleaning spray" folks.

Of the five human senses, the sense that is most closely associated with our memory is our sense of smell. Dad's smell will linger on the pillow, and remind the brain (and in my personal opinion, the spirit of the child) that their Father is present and they are safe. Ta da!

Sleeping in Bed or Napping with Mom and Dad:

In severe cases (like in the foster children who have been abused by mom or dad) it takes a while for the sense of security to be restored in the child's mind and spirit. In cases of adoption for instance I recommend the child having the opportunity to have time with mom and dad in bed. I know people freak out about the "propriety" of it but if you've ever heard a child having a night terror, you might reconsider. The sense of safety and security that comes from the presence of a protective figure is unmatched by medicine. This however is for children that are behind emotionally, which is typically not your biological child unless they have witnessed a divorce or other type of emotionally upsetting experience.

The last area to cover is YOU. Although the challenge may originate in your child's developing brain and spirit, it also may be a combination of your own fears as well.

Check Yourself:

(psychological piece)

Your child has the ability to learn to sleep on his/her own between the ages of 3-6 if given the opportunity. But remember it is an emotional growth process and your role as parent is to help them transition from gaining their security from being with you, to the realization that they are still safe apart from you.

(spiritual piece)

Lots of parents don't actually believe this, hence the doubly difficult time they experience with this stage of their child's development. Do you mind if I ask you a couple of questions?

Do you trust that your child is okay outside of your sight? In their own bed? At school? Well if not, get over it. You're trippin' up your poor kid. And here is the real question... Do you trust God with your child? Or are you their God? What is the difference between being a parent and being God?

In case you were wondering...

Nightmares vs. Night Terrors

nightmares:

*after a nightmare the child is awake and alert and will seek your comfort and if able to talk will talk to you about his/her fear.

*the child will remember having had a nightmare

*when a child has a nightmare you should go to them and comfort them.

night terrors:

*the child will thrash around violently, screaming, and their eyes are often open, however the child is still asleep.

*the child will go back to peaceful sleep, and upon waking will not remember the night terror at all.

*it is recommended to NOT restrain a child experiencing night terrors as it seems to agitate the child more. You should remove any dangerous objects and supervise the child until he/she returns to peaceful sleep to be sure they do not harm themselves.

All Excited

2011-12-21T21:00:00.000-08:00

Just talked to my bosom friend on the phone and I'm all excited about something. Lol. She just shared something that's going to really help me in life.

Grab a cookie lets celebrate!

::Tuesday's Tea With Me::

2011-12-20T05:55:00.000-08:00

Grandma brought over these pink roses yesterday straight from her garden. :-) I'm pretty sure these would bring a good dose of cheer to anyone. She came over in the rain, donned her umbrella and brought them straight to my front door. And I checked... they smell fabulous. Have you ever smelled those roses that don't smell? What kind of a deal is that? Reminds me of Macy's as a child. Remember those big cushy beds out on display that you ran and jumped on and practically broke your back? Apparently Macy's doesn't believe in mattresses. I only did that once. (Probably after several assurances from my older brother that it was heaven to land on such a plush comforter.) Anyway, I digress.

Sooo... these holidays I have found myself very busy. And this week I realized, too busy. I took some time to stop for a few days actually. I had plenty of time to consider what I would like to focus on for the remaining days of 2011. How do I want to enter in to this New Year? One theme that seems to be popping up in my life these days is "quality." I'm really desiring to live my life in manner such that less is more. Perhaps fewer gifts but quality ones. Perhaps less work, but quality work. Maybe even less social interactions, but quality time and presence in each.

I have given some thought to an appropriate strategy and have landed on the notion that I'm going to take a Facebook sabbatical. Which if it resembles anything like my television sabbatical, could evolve into a permanent leave of absence. I am not however taking a sabbatical from my Tea Times with you cheery chaps. In case you have been enjoying our times together, you won't be finding them on Facebook any longer. However feel free to subscribe to e-mail notifications or just pop in whenever you the hankering.

The way I figure it, this strategy will cost me more to have time with others and cost others more as well. And too me this seems, at least from the starting gate, like a good formula for increasing quality. I could be wrong we'll see.

For now I would like to wish you each a very Merry Christmas. May you have a wonderful week. Take time to soak it in, and particularly to enjoy the richness that comes from family and friends gathering. Love to you all. Xoxo

Christmas with the Family

2011-12-18T06:04:00.000-08:00

A Sanctuary

2011-12-11T14:53:00.000-08:00

Today I decided that I would share with you, my most favorite place on Earth. I'm convinced this is where rainbows are born. And I have found much more than a pot of gold here. Each time I arrive I seem to discover a new portion of myself. I stumbled upon this serene little haven a couple of years ago and it has been my sanctuary ever since.

I lay beneath these pepper trees and breathe deeply, hour after hour. Shoot I layed there so long a gopher popped up right next to me this afternoon.

Where is your spot? Do you have a special place to rest your soul? May this inspire you to seek out your own sacred places where you can be with your Self and spend time with your creator. He eagerly awaits your arrival.

TIP: Scroll to the bottom of this page and hit pause on the Christmas music before playing this video.

Red Tailed Hawk

2011-12-10T21:09:00.000-08:00

Today I went for a walk in the woods. But this time I wore my moccasins. It's amazing the world you enter when you walk softly upon the earth. I was walking so quietly through the trees that I snuck up on a large animal.

I was walking along focusing intently on being quiet with my feet, when I saw something interesting on the forest floor. As I stepped off the path to check it out, a BIG whirling noise came from behind me. It startled the ba-jee-jeezes out of me. I could feel a vibration in my chest. I sprung around and a huge bird hovered a few feet in front of me. It flew past me and up into the wide open blue sky. I could tell from it's red tail, that it was a Red Tailed Hawk.

I snapped a few shots as it began to fly circles above my head. It started making the coolest noises as it watched me from above. It's voice rang out across the whole valley. What an incredible animal. Wow!

Counting Cows

2011-12-10T19:20:00.001-08:00

Meet my little friend Elton. (L10) Elton was the first to spot me creeping up on the herd. Clearly a teenager with his hair dyed like that.

This one was my favorite.(170) The cutest cuddliest one. Look at that fur. Doesn't she look like a little lamb?

(170) kept an eye on me for the whole shoot.

After The Rain

2011-12-10T12:26:00.001-08:00

The Shed

2011-12-10T11:25:00.000-08:00

A Stroll Through The Forest

2011-12-09T16:13:00.001-08:00

I decided to go on another forest adventure. After all the rain we've had everything smells so pristine and clean. (Lol. I'm in a rhyming mood.) The air was so crisp I could hardly resist. Ha ha ha... Come on I'll show you what I found.

I sprawled out here on this grass for quite a bit. It was deeply serene and the afternoon sun lit everything up perfectly.

This. Is to be avoided dear ones. Sorry. I know it's pretty and your welcome to touch it if you'd really like, but I don't recommend it.

After my mind acclimated I decided to get up and walk around a bit. I found all kind of great stuff.

eucalyptus: the oil from eucalyptus leaves is used for a variety of medicinal purposes such as: a disinfectant, to relieve fever and congestion associated with head colds. It can be used as a bug repellent or to treat bug bites as well. Great stuff.

"S is for...Something Smells Superb."

sage: I love how this stuff smells. Sage leaves can be strewn in bathwater to cleanse oily hair and help prevent hair loss or dandruff and can also be used as an aftershave and skin lotion. Use the fresh leaves to rub over your teeth to help prevent build-up of tartar, remove plaque, and freshen the breath. Due to it's antiseptic properties, sage tea can be used as a gargle for gum and mouth infections, cold sores, or as a wash for acne. It is also used to regulate menstruation and to treat menopausal symptoms, especially hot flushes. Sage improves the memory, treats liver and gallbladder problems, relieves gas, stimulates cell growth, and helps reduce milk flow when weaning babies. The essential oil can be massaged into the skin to ease muscular tension or pain, and to treat cellulite. Talk about useful. I don't know of even one pill that can cover that many bases.

spanish moss: The Chumash Indians used this for both bedding and... diapers. And it is still used in upholstery for bedding and cushions today. The resiliency of moss makes it desirable for upholstery use as insects will not attack, destroy, live in or eat moss fiber. I gathered some and discovered that you can fashion it into a whole bunch of different things.

Next time I'll take a picture of the milkweed. I was so consumed with sniffing it I forgot to snap a picture. That stuff is my absolute favorite. It never fails to revive me.

As I was walking through the forest gathering my herbs and whatnot, I discovered an interesting rule. You don't break sticks. Snapping a stick is like leaving your cell phone on in church. If you break a stick, it means everyone stops and looks at you. However if I am still and tread lightly I am free to enjoy the show.

Bye bye my little forest friends.

Sorry for breaking the stick.

I'll wear my moccasins next time.

An Afternoon Adventure

2011-12-08T20:32:00.001-08:00

I found a whole deer carcass on my adventure today. Fortunately for the deer he still had all his teeth. Then I found the remainder of a bird.

"How come I'm getting the feeling that I'm being hunted?" Lol. Just kidding.

I was hoping I'd see a mountain lion, but opted for walking the aisles of his grocery store instead.

Cats

2011-12-08T18:42:00.001-08:00

"All of the animals except man know that the principle business of life is to enjoy it."

-Samuel Butler

Every once in a while I get a little bored. My typical remedy for this is to head out for a walk to K-Mart and see what I can discover there. This week I picked up "Chicken Soup for the Soul: What I Learned From the Cat." It is filled with great cat quotes and stories that have had me rolling all week. Sooo... I thought I would share a cat story of my own.

A few days ago I noted we were running low on cat food. "It's a busy week," I said to myself, "I will have to get to that on Thursday." On Wednesday evening, the last kibble was crunched before we turned in for bed. Now, you and I would think this was perfect timing. Well we are a different species than these little fur balls for sure.

First thing this morning Sydney jumps from the floor to my chest. THUD! Scared the living day lights out of me. "What the heck!" I sputtered as I wiped the sleep from my eyes. She has been sleeping in the closet ever since the weather turned cold and hasn't come near me for weeks. I should have seen this as a clue... however given I only became conscious because of a large heavy animal pouncing on my chest, I think I deserve some slack.

Several moments later I am in the bathroom, washing my face and getting ready for the day. Which entails heading to Petsmart to get cat food first thing. But I kept hearing a rattling noise while I was putting my make-up on in the mirror. I stopped and listened a few times but couldn't identify the noise. Finally I step out of the bathroom and stick my head down the hall. There is Kia with her paw beneath the door where the cat food his kept. She is sitting there staring at me. Eye to eye contact is made, and she moves her paw back and forth rattling the door. NEVER breaking eye contact.

Are you SERIOUS??? It couldn't have been more clear if she spoke English.

I'm feeling the pressure now. So I throw on some clothes and the cats are talking to me as I head for the door. But when they hear the rattle of my keys they look at me like I must be the most unintelligent being alive today.

I run to the store. Purchase a new flavor Ocean Fish, hustle home, and lug the heavy bag in. The kitties have perched themselves on the patio. I call for them. One ear flattens, indicating they're thinking. I crinkle the bag, and call some more. Nothin'. I cut the bag open, pour the food in, shake the dish. They can't be bothered.

And THAT my friends.... is the life of a cat owner.

Thus my most recent Facebook status:

"In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this."

::Tuesday's Tea With Me::

2011-12-06T07:00:00.000-08:00

First off this morning, I must confess... I opted for Hot Cocoa! And it is sooo... delectable. Secondly I must confess again, I purchased myself a little present. I ordered these jadeite bowls.(below) I have been enjoying them all weekend. I fear I am far to excited about these little bowls. Who gets excited about bowls? Me apparently. Because these are not just any bowls, they are pretty bowls. :-) So far they have been perfect for oatmeal, applesauce, and to sit and look at. LOL. Okay now that we got that out of the way....

How was your Monday?

Well, whether good or bad it is now Tuesday and I have been looking forward to chatting with you. So glad you came over. And here's something to take with you on your way into the week: A smile speaks all languages.

"A Smile is Cheer to you and me.
The cost is nothing --it's given free.

It comforts the weary -- gladdens the sad.

Consoles those in trouble - good or bad.

To rich or poor -- beggar or thief.

It's free to all of any belief.

A natural gesture of young and old.

Cheers on the faint -- disarms the bold.

Unlike most blessings for which we pray.

It's one thing we keep when we give it away."

Winterizing

2011-12-05T06:17:00.000-08:00

I decided to winterize my pillow.

Secret Santa

2011-11-30T17:14:00.001-08:00

I think I got the best Secret Santa!

::Tuesday's Tea With Me::

2011-11-28T07:38:00.000-08:00

"Each of you has received a gift to use to serve others."

-1 Peter 4:10

I have kept this page from an old devotional on my refrigerator for severel years now because it is one of those perspectives I need to realign my heart with regularly. I thought I would share it with you this morning:

There is only so much sand in the hourglass. Who gets it? You know what I'm talking about, don't you?... The PTA needs a new treasurer. With your background and experience and talent and wisdom and love for kids and degree in accounting, YOU are the perfect one for the job!" It's tug-of-war, and you are the rope... "Blessed are the meek," Jesus said. The word meek does not mean weak. It means focused. It is a word to describe a domesticated stallion. Power under control. Blessed are those who recognize their God-given responsibilities. Blessed are those who acknowledge that there is only one God and have quit applying for his position. Blessed are those who know what on earth they are on earth to do and set themselves about the business of doing it.

Exploring

2011-11-28T06:22:00.000-08:00

Here you go Yvette. Here are my discoveries as I explored your old stomping grounds. :) I wanted to go through that tunnel so bad and see what was over there but I had to get back to the Gough Thanksgiving. Lol. Next time...

Fall Adventures

2011-11-28T05:23:00.000-08:00

I was so excited. I went out for a walk while we were up in San Francisco for the weekend. I was hoping I'd discover something cool. Well... off in the distance I could see this train tunnel in the side of a hill. I thought, "Hmmm... how can I get to that?" So I borrowed my mom's car and did some investigating. I drove around and attempted to get as close as possible. It involved some trespassing, hiking, and climbing, but I FOUND it. One of my mottos is to "dress for the occasion." Well, I was not dressed for the occasion, not this one anyway. I was dress for Thanksgiving dinner but oh well.

It was slippery in my dress and boots. But worth it. The one thing, was that people from the freeway could see me and they were honking at me. I decided to believe they were honking to wave at me and not to tell me I looked ridiculous in my formal Thanksgiving attire hiking up the side of a mountain and climbing onto a set of train tracks. :)

In the City

2011-11-27T15:07:00.001-08:00

Thanksgiving in the City

Nope. My mom is on the left. That's actually my Aunt.

I know.

Our Thanksgiving: 2011

2011-11-27T02:30:00.001-08:00

Every year all the Gough's gather on the day after Thanksgiving. Usually this leaves room for "the other side of the family" on Thanksgiving day. Each year we rotate who hosts the holidays among the five siblings. (Of which my dad is the youngest.) Four of the five siblings live here on the central coast. However Uncle Bandy (the eldest, he was born on Band Day, which earned him his nickname "Bandaid", which somehow turned into 'Bandy') lives in San Francisco. When it is Uncle Bandy and Aunt Maggie's turn to host we all head up to SF and spend Thanksgiving evening in the city. The following day, we have our traditional Thanksgiving feast.

Although you would assume everything on this trip revolves around the Thanksgiving meal, you would be incorrect. Any second guesses? This is the Gough family after all... No takers? GOLF. The festivities actually revolve around the numerous tee times that are scheduled well in advance.

The point is to play as much golf as possible without missing the Thanksgiving meal. This of course leaves the rest of us (non-golfaholics, but still golfers) to entertain ourselves until the golfaholics return from whichever course had the least chance of rain. This can include courses anywhere within a 2 hour radius of the Herbert Albert Gough II (Bandy's real name) residence.

When said golfers return you must check-in to see how well your most immediate family member played. This will indicate whether they won or lost money. Which will then clue you into whether they are in a good mood or if irritability may be lurking. A minimum of 18 holes of golf per day is required...

The five siblings are as follows:

Herbert Albert Gough II (Bandy)
John Gough
Bill Gough
Chrissie Dickran (Gough)
Jeff Gough

This year we had just shy of 40 people and I did my best to capture them all for you my friends. (Noelle you did not escape me but you did escape a clear picture.) The photo immediately below this text is Uncle Bandy cutting the turkey. And in case you are wondering his apron reads: "Real Men... Wear Aprons."

"Show me your angry face Micah."

(lmbo)

Mikey and Mama

Twins

Aunt Jenna

Uncle Cameron and Aunt Victoria

This is my mom looking awfully delighted with her plate.

Bruno

Jordan decided to try holding Makenna. He's a natural.
(Second cousins)

Mikey with his uncles.

Bruno with his grandpas.

Micah with his auntie.

Fathers and Sons

There you have it.

My Time With Mikey

2011-11-26T21:41:00.001-08:00

A snapshot from the weekend. This was the highlight of my entire Thanksgiving... My time reading a book to my cousin's son Mikey. I just LOVE him. He was delighted to point out every single football in the book and intermittently pointed at the TV to help Aunt Jenna understand that football was also playing on the television. :)

::Tuesday's Tea With Me::

2011-11-22T05:01:00.000-08:00

Ooo... It's finally cold and rainy. I have been enjoying this rain so much. I love to cuddle up with my tea, my kitties, my knitting, a devotional... and do some existing. Sometimes the simple act of existing is enough. You know what I mean? We are constantly scurrying around. With the holidays upon us what better to do than to SIT DOWN and soak it all in.

"You and I live in an age when the ordinary seems extraordinary: to take time to watch the sun rise, to enjoy a peaceful cup of tea while listening to music, to eat breakfast or dinner with all the members of our family together at one time. Such simple human moments are romanticized in commercial for their nostalgia value because they have become so rare today.
And we live in an age when the extraordinary seems ordinary: a relentless pace that would bring Alexander the Great to his knees; a level of materialism and creature comforts that would exceed Celopatra's wildest dreams; a degree of self-absorption that would make Narcissus blush. Tens of millions of us who can't keep up, or who become understandably confused or depressed, are prescribed powerful drugs to help us fall back into place. Incredible! In our era even ancient spiritual practices may be used not so much for touching the sacred but for reducing stress so that we can keep up a truly soul-destructive, frenetic level of activity."
-It's A Meaningful Life

What is the meaning of life by the way? Lol. I was giving it some thought. You would think that all of the different religions/traditions of the world would disagree on this, however they actually agree on most of the fundamental ideas:

1. Something truly holy and sacred, something incomprehensible does exist.

2. This holy presence can be touched directly by each of us.

3. The journey or process of touching that presence is the primary purpose of life. If we do not come to know this sacred, holy being we will have done nothing.

It is my life's goal to touch the holy. To me, this holy presence is everything good. Joy, Beauty, Love, Faithfulness... Everything good is God. I want Him to pour as much of Himself into me, so that when people encounter me they have the most concentrated dose of His presence. I want people to be able to get a glimpse of Him through me. I want to share the wholeness and belonging I find when we walk together this being and I.

I mean really I am so delighted by this holy being. Who never ceases to amaze me, has never failed me, who picks me up from every broken place I have found myself and carries me. Comforts me. Fills my spirit with hope and promises of a bright future.

When I am photographing, to my heart, I am photographing words. I see words when I look around the earth. When I look upon a beautiful sunset, my heart sees, "I love you." When I come across a serene meadow and lay my head on the soft grass, my heart hears, "I am here with you." Can you hear it too? Can you see how this great presence speaks so gently and softly to us. We are deeply loved and delighted in my friends, by an almighty all-power presence. A being beyond complete comprehension.

Enjoy the mystery in attempting to wrap your mind around a being that unlike us.... is unlimited. A God. Go quietly into your day. Let your heart be still and listen to His love letter to you.

A Rainy Day in November

2011-11-20T16:15:00.001-08:00

Truly I am so tickled that it's rainy and cold outside.

FINALLY!

I ran into my childhood soccer coach at the grocery store on the way home. He noted that I was all dressed up for the weather. Now THAT'S what I want to hear. Ha ha ha... Now all I need is some galoshes and a puddle splashing partner. Did anybody see that the park is all flooded again? I was tempted to head out there and splash around. However, I opted for a nice cup of egg nog with peppermint pretzels. :)

Hope you guys enjoy such a splendid Sunday afternoon!
Catch ya later.

Cleaning Day

2011-11-17T22:59:00.001-08:00

Just thought I'd share one of my small secrets to enjoying life.

Mrs. Meyer's.

She turns cleaning into an aromatherapy session.

::Tuesday's Tea With Me::

2011-11-15T05:15:00.000-08:00

value |ˈvalyo͞o|noun1 the regard that something is held to deserve; the importance,worth, or usefulness of something: your support is of great value.

I was just thinking this morning about value. How important it is to be able to recognize value. To be able to assess something's worth, including your Self, and also to be able to assess how much you are willing to give for something of value. Good stuff.

I'll leave you with this verse to ponder as you move gently through your day. Xoxo

"Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast your pearls before the swine, lest happily they trample them under their feet, and turn and rend you."

- Matthew 7:6

Healthy Wonton Soup for My Soul

2011-11-12T16:02:00.001-08:00

I tried a new recipe called, Healthy Wonton Soup. I really love soups. They are so easy to have for lunch during the week, and it's a light and lean meal. Sonya... don't you dare leave this country without giving me the recipe for those bars you brought to study Wednesday night. I have been dreaming of those all week. Truly.

A Stitch In Time

2011-11-10T21:21:00.001-08:00

I pulled out my needles this afternoon. My knitting needles that is. I was wondering when the itch to knit was going to hit. Uh oh. Did you hear that? So here I sit, in a room warmly lit, piecing together pillows bit by bit. I better stop or this threatens to get corny.

This is my favorite season. I just love the coziness. For some reason it causes images to flit about in my mind of a haven from the freezing temperatures. Something like Mr. Tumnus' cottage in the woods. California is hardly a Narnia, but let's just use our imagination. Maybe I'll pull out the can of spray on snow. LOL.

I was at the craft store picking up this yarn and they had packages of scented pine cones. I LOVE those things they always smell so good. Gonna have to pick one of those up on my next trip.

Anywhoo, what was my point? Oh my point was... I made this cream pillow cover (photo above) a few years back and I've decided to make another one but in a more of a chocolate mocha color. Stay tuned for future updates on our progress.

Also Kia would like you to know that she is freaked out of the yarn label. She has been frozen stiff ever since it wrapped around her mid-section. Ahhh ha ha ha! Look at at her face. Lol.

'Tis the Season

2011-11-10T20:17:00.001-08:00

Made Rumble Cakes this evening.

Mmm.... I put in 5x too many cherries and pecans but no worries... my love for peanut butter seems to have balanced out the equation. I'm not exactly sure how many scoops of peanut butter I impulsively added but apparently it was enough to spread the extra nuts and berries quite nicely.

Who needs formulas anyways?

The Fountain of Youth

2011-11-09T23:35:00.000-08:00

Or should I say the field of youth... My niece asked if I would come out to play on the "parents" team as they were having a game between the parents and players. In my head it's only been a few years since I've played. No biggy, I'll just pop on my cleats and kick the ball around some. Right. So actually... the last time I played soccer was in college. We won't mention how long ago that was, but I was 19. LOL! So I called my mom and apparently I don't have cleats these days. Not even in the attic. Next order of business? Shin guards. I got none of those either.

I kept having a strange burning sensation in my lungs after sprinting up and down the field. I was thinking to myself "So this must be what they call 'out of shape.'" Then the incredibly talented boy in the first photo decided he didn't like me guarding him so he seriously took me out. Like I went tumbling, rolling, rolling, rolling... Guess what? I totally didn't break a bone or anything. I was like, "Oh yeah I got this. Age is just a number little man." That's when the gloves came off. I had so much fun! My niece is too funny. You should haven seen the smile on her face when she would go one-on-one with me. I do have slight remorse over all the youngsters I just knocked on their asses. LOL. But I'll get over it quickly.

Okay and I will admit I have some nasty bruises. These kids are serious. Cheers to youthfulness! :D

(Photos by my amazing sister-in-law Enjolee Gough)

Goo Gone

2011-11-08T19:33:00.000-08:00

Wouldn't it be nice if this worked on other things in life too. Love me some Goo Gone. In the spirit world Goo Gone is called "forgiveness." It's just much more difficult to employ. Lol.

::Tuesday's Tea With Me::

2011-11-08T05:19:00.000-08:00

Good Morning Friends! Help yourself to those new chocolate dipped oat cookies from Trader Joe's. Mmm...

Okay the quote for this morning is...

"People tend to think that their circumstances determine the quality of their lives. So they pour their energy into trying to control those situations. This causes them to feel happy when things are going well and sad or frustrated when things don't turn out as they'd hoped. "

Guess what I discovered this year? It is an option, there is an option... to be content in any and every situation. And I don't mean happy all the time. That's just fake. Lol.

What if there are limits to the amount of control we have over our lives? What if... there is a governor on our free will? A place where free will and destiny intersect. A place where man ends and God brings up the slack. Can we accept that we are human and He is God? I'm assuming that the definition of God is self explanatory but I think we forget sometimes. I believe that I am limited and He is not. I believe in miracles, I believe in Him. But God help me to TRUST you. Help me to put hands and feet to what I believe.

Haddie

2011-11-07T13:19:00.000-08:00

Meet Hadley.

Isn't she darling? I've been calling her Haddie for short. I had to get a new phone when I left my old job and somehow I wound up with another apple product. It's so smooth and pretty but it scratches easily. So I've been looking into cases. There were some very good recommendations, but she's so pretty I had to try this one first. We'll see how well function combines with fashion.

Coziness

2011-11-06T17:06:00.000-08:00

I couldn't resist on this lovely cool fall evening. Baking always ups the cozy factor. Mmmm... smells lovely in here.

::Tuesday's Tea With Me::

2011-11-01T05:34:00.000-07:00

Welcome to November friends!

Come on in. Come out side with me you gotta check out these yellow jackets. They decided they liked the garden just as much as the honey bees. So far they get along just fine. Lets watch 'em. It's their legs that get me. I don't like how they dangle when they fly. Lol. I think the honey bees are much softer and cuter looking.

I wonder why God decided to give things color? I sure like all the different colors He came up with. Colors are like words I suppose. They say things.

What is your favorite color? If you could associate it with a word or a feeling, what would it be?

Mine is aqua blue.
And if I could give it a word or feeling it would be
"cheerful serenity."

::Tuesday's Tea With Me::

2011-10-25T04:13:00.000-07:00

If you could have been born in any time of history to any race or family what would you choose?

I would want to be a Native American Indian princess. :) I really think I would have enjoyed running around in animal skins and exploring mother earth. Minus the whole exposure to the elements factor, I'm sure I would have greatly enjoyed being outdoors and not being confined to buildings all the time. And not having to clock in and clock out all the time. What is with our whole clock deal? Like do I really have to "take a minute." Or can I have a "moment" please! Like if I'm supposed to be there at 5pm. You know that is only a 60 second window right? Golly.

Anyway, those thoughts just randomly popped in my head as I was pining for autumn leaves and the smell of fresh rain. I know I'm born and bred Californian, but maybe weather makes us feel more alive. Like maybe seasons help people pace themselves and live in rhythm with Earth's heart beat. With God's heart beat.

Anywhoo, come out on the patio with me and we can sip tea and dream about being Indians.

Bakersfield!

2011-10-24T20:06:00.000-07:00

Had to go to Bako today. And guess what they have...

A Barnes & Noble!

A small interesting fact about me... I have a slight addiction. I've known this for a while but I figured it was minor... and so far it hasn't caused any major lifestyle dysfunction. I am totally addicted to journals. I do journal a lot, but I'll admit I usually have more journals than words. A seeming impossibility I know.

So just to show you how into journals I am...

I photographed my newest purchases. :)

Self-Analysis

2011-10-22T23:52:00.000-07:00

I don't know why this picture makes me chuckle so much. The look on my face just cracks me up. Do I really do that with my eye brow? I wonder what that expression means? I don't normally see the expressions on my face I just make them. But Jen's husband Guido was playing with the camera and was able to capture this shot. This was just before I did a little jig on the grass because I was so excited at how pretty everything was.

Wait I think he got me doing my jig too.

Yep. Ahhh ha ha ha! Look at Jen's face. That's hysterical.

This is the good stuff in life is you ask me.

Mmmm...

2011-10-20T21:44:00.000-07:00

The evenings are finally turning cooler and its beginning to actually feel like fall. YES!

Thank you Becky for the inspiration. This cool weather gave me the itch to bake and when I saw your evening spread I knew just the thing.

Avila Barn

2011-10-19T17:55:00.000-07:00

Well we had a nice trip to Avila Barn today. We did it Jeff Gough style. Upon arrival we promptly purchased a pie. Of which we all received a very large slice and ate before the yellow jackets could discover our treasure.

I'd love to show you the kids lovely faces but we're not supposed to post photos of them, which I totally respect so call my brother if you'd like to protest. ;)

Fortunately Grandma and Grandad were willing to pose for me.

Next we went down to the maze (created with bales of hay), where the kids delighted themselves by getting lost over and over again. I still can't remember if they actually made it all the way through. We then went back up the hill for ice cream. Hey it was hot, so what do you do when it's hot? You eat ice cream. Again we found ourselves at the picnic tables lapping up sugary treats.

Here's Grandad cutting in front of the poor children to make his way through the maze.

(Ha ha... I'm just teasing Grandad would NEVER cut.)

After fueling ourselves for another activity we decided to check out the farm animals. Hailey pretty much summed it up by exclaiming, "It smells!" (With a fabulous expression on her face.)

This little girl is explaining to Hailey and I that the pony on the left is a unicorn.

Hailey was in heaven when she discovered this woman's puppy "Dexter."

Where art thou?

2011-10-18T21:21:00.000-07:00

So I have been growing a lot, in case no one has noticed from my posts this year. And growing/maturing, has a way of bringing about subtle changes in you.

Take yesterday for instance. As I was checking out with my groceries the lady in front of me turned around and we recognized each other, chatted, hugged, she called her boys over, I admired them... It was a very normal grocery store interaction UNTIL... the checkout lady says, "Oh I didn't even realize you were in line. Let me just check this man (and his very FULL cart) out and then I'll be with you."

[Insert the new Jenna here:]

"You mean the man with his cart BEHIND me in line!?" I won't even try to make myself look good I said this with such disgust I didn't even recognize myself when the officers made me watch the footage on the security cameras.

She starts pulling his cart up in front of mine and setting his items on the conveyer belt.

With a hug scowl on my face I said, "So let me get this straight. You are going to check HIM out?!" She stopped, froze for a moment, and began putting his items back into his cart. I vaguely heard the man saying it was okay and it was no big deal...

(Well of course its no big deal you moron, I'm in front of you in line and I have been waiting patiently while she finished checking out the woman in front of me whom I was just talking to. NOW... it is MYYY turn.)

My eyes were locked on the cashier...

"Interesting!" I said very loudly as she began scanning my items. It felt really good to demand I receive proper service.

Can somebody please tell me what happened to the nice Jenna that would normally have just said, "Oh it's not a big deal. I'm not in a hurry. Go ahead. Shoot... why don't you let the whole line go ahead of me. (While I stand there with frozen goods melting.)

[DEAR GOD PLEASE LET NO ONE RECOGNIZE THIS STORY AND OUT ME.]

::Tuesday's Tea With Me::

2011-10-18T11:44:00.000-07:00

Sooo... I've been in a fog lately. I pulled out my iPhone and used the compass unfortunately that didn't seem to give my life direction either. So I have been mentally sitting and waiting. Then this morning as I sat feeling miserable I thought, "Well maybe I am thinking of this whole fog thing all wrong. Maybe I shouldn't see it has a heavy dark cloud in which I am stuck without control, but MAYBE I could get to a place where I see it as more of a playpen." You know like those pack-N-plays that they put babies in?

How many times have I wished that I could be childlike and worry free. Remember the days when your greatest concerned was how much longer you could stay in the sand box before mom called you in for dinner? Maybe I'm just in the sandbox. Maybe I don't need to worry about how its all going to work out or what direction I'm headed. Did I just SAY that? Who is this typing? I think I'm having an out of body experience. Lol.

Attempt at not worrying and letting go of the whole notion that I need to see what I'm doing and where I'm going... coming right up.

I mean look at Kia. You think she worries about if I've got enough cat food? She trusts me. Ohhh I see... It is her trust that eliminates anxiety. Apparently they are directly tied. Does anyone know of a switch that you can flip to turn the trust on? Cuz I am sick of worrying about tomorrow.

Garden Games

2011-10-16T17:11:00.000-07:00

Breaking news from the front lines. We are getting reports that Team Snail has sustained massive casualties due to an air raid earlier this morning. Witnesses say colossal birds dropped bombs with deadly accuracy rendering Snail tanks and troops ineffective.

::Tuesday's Tea With Me::

2011-10-11T05:55:00.000-07:00

You guys thought I forgot about you huh?

Nope. I brought you with me on a walk through the Canadian forest and to the cutest freshest little grocery.

Enjoy!

Granville Market

2011-10-04T22:03:00.001-07:00

If this doesn't make you hungry I don't know what will. I absolutely loved this market in Vancouver, it was full of life, foreign languages, color, culture, and ohhh the options.

Friendship

2011-10-03T13:49:00.000-07:00

Jen and I have been friends for nearly 10 years. I hadn't seen her in EIGHT years and I was so excited to spend time with her and her husband Guido this past week. I just have to say that I am so grateful that I have a friend that I could not see in 8 years and pick-up as if we've been neighbors the whole time. That kind of friendship is priceless.

Love you guys!
Xoxoxo

Giving Leoncito a kiss.

::Tuesday's Tea with Me::

2011-09-27T07:28:00.000-07:00

Oh what a beautiful morning! The fresh air is spilling in, and I've got a nice cup of tea warming my hands. I've been trying to take time through the week to take in all the beauty of the central coast. I know I've said this before, but we truly live in one of the most beautiful regions of the world.

Alright I know I know, I look like I have a confession. I do. Ready? I did it. I let go of the rope. So far I haven't hit a bottom so I'm not dead yet. But it's only been a couple days. Maybe it's just a long fall.

I told a friend the other day that my life has become an oxymoron. "Striving to Relax." Lol. When it's painful to relax you know you have a problem. I'm going to do this without the help of distractions or drinks, or what have you. I'm going to do it in my spirit. I'm going to have faith. Hopefully the faith comes soon because it hasn't yet arrived yet. Good thing I kept the receipt.

Anyway, that's where I find myself this morning, and I think it's very humorous. I just keep picturing the child in the pool for his swimming lessons, who is afraid to float on the water and keeps jerking up. I totally can't float yet, but I'll get the hang of it. :)

Time in the Garden

2011-09-26T12:59:00.000-07:00

What better to do with time on your hands then spend it in your garden?

My brother and I used to spend hours playing army guys without a care in the world. Thought I'd pull out my army men today. :)My team won. FYI.

Flowers

2011-09-23T02:20:00.000-07:00

After a LONNNNG day of tying up loose ends at work, clearing out my office, and lugging in boxes. I arrived home to these. Did someone seriously just send me flowers?

I was so excited! Thank you someone. They brightened my whole day.

The Real Me

2011-09-22T12:31:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking a lot about our view on life. How we view things, where we find beauty, and how closely that is tied to what we value. So strange how what you value becomes what your life centers on. I really enjoy authentic people. I want to be the type of person that focuses on the higher things. The things that have greater value. The classic example is inner versus outer beauty.

Okay well all that to say I challenged myself to put up these two photos today. I had an interesting interaction with a friend and it made me think... as much as I like editing photos and having a blast making others and myself look pretty, you can't lose sight of authenticity.

When it's hard for me to put a picture up that is real, I think I've gotten a little off balance.

Here we go.

Take 1

Take 2

However at the same time. When I see the first photo (pretend it's not me) what I see with my heart is the second photo. Doesn't that make you feel good? lol. Kind of strange how that works, when it's other people. When it's me the whole deal works backwards. How we see our Self is incredibly powerful.

His Love

2011-09-21T02:47:00.000-07:00

"Your love Oh Lord reaches to the Heavens.

And your faithfulness stretches to the skies.

Your righteousness is like a mighty mountain.

And your justice flows like the ocean's tide."

::Tuesday's Tea with Me::

2011-09-20T09:21:00.000-07:00

Good Morning!

I wanted to share this picture with you guys. I don't have a lot of words today, but as they say, "A picture is worth a thousand words." I just love this picture. I've always wanted a tire swing. :)

Courage

2011-09-15T20:54:00.000-07:00

I Love to Laugh

2011-09-14T23:09:00.001-07:00

I love to laugh and this just really did it for me.

A Bridge Over Troubled Water

2011-09-14T21:34:00.000-07:00

Jazz for Cows

2011-09-14T18:27:00.000-07:00

I absolutely love this. And I love the style of jazz. Maybe someday I'll live in the country and play jazz for my cows.

(scroll to the bottom and hit pause on the playlist first though.)

::Tuesday's Tea with Me::

2011-09-13T06:09:00.000-07:00

Sorry I missed you guys last week. It's been quite an eventful month so far. So watcha been up to? Oh really that sounds neat. Oh me? Ohhh... I've just been trying to jump off a cliff. Lol. No really. Yes I am totally serious. Have you ever felt like you were supposed to do something, but you couldn't see the next step so you didn't want to make the decision to leave the comfortable place you were at, if you didn't know there would be another comfortable place to go?

Maybe I'm making this sound more complicated, but I realized this morning. The bible challenges people to walk my faith. And then it has this little part afterwards that says, "AND NOT BY SIGHT." Oh. Right. Uhhh... I have an idea, how about you show me the next step, AND I get credit for my paper on faith? Oh. This is real life and not college. Hmmmm... Sooo... I have to DO it then to get credit. This totally sucks. Lol.

Suffering

2011-09-12T05:30:00.000-07:00

"Most of your suffering comes from the lack of understanding of yourself and others...."

My friend Danielle wrote that on her FB status and I thought... You know what? That is SO true.

Lately I've been trying to gain a better understanding of the situations I find myself in and the world around me, by taking a long hard look at me and my understanding of things.

Honest

2011-09-11T16:14:00.000-07:00

I took a walk yesterday. And I thought to myself, "We sure put a lot of money into building sidewalks that very few people use." Well... I resolved the matter by getting out into the neighborhood today to use the sidewalk. I know it sounds really snoopy but I really love looking at people's houses. If I didn't think I'd totally weird people out, I could probably sit out on a bench across from someone's house and just watch for a long time.

Did you know that houses talk? I like to imagine the stories they have to tell. The children it has raised and families it has loved. I like to watch the people and see how they express themselves through their homes. What they value. What they like. What they don't like. Who they are. Who they be. Not what they try to look like, or what they tell you with their mouth. A house can tell you all kinds of things. Oh. I just had a light bulb moment. I know what it is. I know why I like houses so much. They can't help but be honest.

I am Me.

2011-09-11T12:16:00.000-07:00

I came across something rather deep this weekend. I really care about people. I love you people so much.

I have discovered a caveat however. You can't be so concerned for others that you neglect your own life. There is a balance. Caring is one thing, but you also have to let others have their own process. Even if their process is painful for the time being. So I have decided to care less about other lives and enjoy my own. A long overdue change for me.

At this place in life I have been through several deep lessons. When I see people going through a test that I've traveled myself I want to give them the answers. But I've changed my mind about that. I've decided to get off their field and stand on the sidelines and cheer them on as they deserve to take the same course and gain the same riches that God allows in me. Besides, what if the answers on my test weren't the same as theirs. How arrogant is that? Well it looks arrogant but it's actually that I'm afraid others won't be okay. Which means I don't really trust the God that I say I believe in.

Ultimately I have to trust God to do the same thing for others that He has done for me. He has allowed severe pain in my life. To my great benefit. I must not be afraid to see others in pain. I must trust that they too, are as beloved and precious to the Father. That they too are strong enough to find the deeper answers in life's circumstances.

In case you are thinking this applies to you. This applies to many relationships in my life because its a slight glitch in the way I have related to people. Some whom I love very much. I am learning that it is MORE loving to cheer you on, than try to rescue and fix things. If I was concerned before that you wouldn't be okay, that's sweet and all, but now I believe differently. I can look past the possibility that you won't be okay, to a God who is more than able to have His way in your life. Let me just get out of the way, while He handles things. Bless you my friends. And may you find the answers you seek in this life.

Anyway, in case you're interested in my life, today my life included Banana Pancakes. :)