Mothercraft {Part III-Areas 4-6}

Building Family Ties and Respect for Parents

1. Enjoyment by parents of each other's company

2. Respect for each other's opinions.

3. A truly self-reliant outlook on life.

4. Treatment of the child with respect as an individual, a person worth consulting.

5. Enjoyment in doing things together as a family.

6. Sensible use of family income and joint decisions about its use.

7. Skills or traits in each family member that the others are proud of.

8. Recognition of lasting values rather than desire for excitement and amusement.

9. Acceptance of community responsibility.

Strengthening Values in Family Life

4. Treating one's children with respect is not likely to come about unless one tries to learn what children are like and what to expect of them as they develop. Sometimes it is necessary for a father to interpret the children to the mother, though more often it is the other way round. But the more anyone knows about children, the more he realizes how worthy they are of consideration.

5. Enjoyment of family companionship come from having had fun together many times. To one family walking may be fun; to another, playing games; to a third, gardening; to still another, entertaining guests. The main thing is to try out many things that can be done as a group. Some of them will bring pleasure that will build up warm feeling of oneness.

6. Sensible use of the family income depends to a great extent upon training in using money but also upon the amount of respect parents feel for each other. If either the husband or the wife feels that the other is extravagant or stingy or not always sensible, there is bound to be some arguing and disputing. Because it is more often the man who provides the income and because men have so long held the purse strings, many men unthinkingly expect to make decisions as to how money shall be spent. They have not stopped to remember that in our present way of living it is the wife and mother who must know how to buy, about comparative costs of food and clothes and rent, and that the family will be better served if decisions are made jointly.

If the husband and wife talk over the advantages of buying a new rug now or putting it off, of renting a house in one neighborhood for the sake of the school or in another for the sake of the fine yard, the children are learning while they listen. They are learning (1)that talking thing over is a good way of bringing out all sorts of ideas and feeling, and (2) that it is a democratic way of living in which no one person dictates what others shall do. As they grow older, they will get in one the discussions, too; Molly will have a chance to tell the family why she thinks dancing lessons should be included in the budget, and Mark will ask, if Molly is going to have that money spent on her, won't it be fair for him to have a like amount to buy a camera?