First Things First

For years there have been several things that have eluded me despite my energetic and passionate pursuit. I tend to be a rather goal oriented, action focused individual. I see something I like or want, and then exert a great deal of energy to get it. That is a nice quality to have and it has brought some good fruit in my life. It is not however a framework by which to operate at ALL times. There are certain types of "things" that cannot be attained in that manner. 

I was reflecting on this for some time this afternoon and noted that it is spiritual and emotional states that don't respond well to my mammoth efforts. Higher education? Yeah that worked. Money? Yeah okay. Tranquility? Contentment? Peace? Uhhhh.... not so much. The more energy I threw towards them, the further away they floated from my grasp. Has this ever happened to you? Have you ever wished that the state of being "at ease" or "in perfect peace" was a coffee shop that you could simply sit down in? Ha! Wouldn't that be nice? 

Well in fact... it is! It is an actual place. It is located within you. It is a place you must visit in your spirit. You travel there not in your body, but with your mind. And it is achieved not by reaching towards, but rather by letting go.

Am I making any sense?

First things first. You must let go before you can attain peace. You must release control, before you can rest. WHAT!? That is not how we think right? I hear ya. I tend to think that I can rest when and only when, I have taken control and checked all the things off of my to do list. In reality... I can rest once I come into agreement with the fact that there will always be things on my to do list and that there is great value in resting.  I will contribute more to my life by being rested than by having an empty to do list.

Come on! Let's try it people! This is exciting.

Trusting

So without telling every detail of the story I am at one of those places in life that is completely and utterly unsettling. In fact I am at that place in several huge areas of my life all at the same time. This area of my life has to do with self-reliance though. I am hanging on to a rope and I can clearly tell that I am supposed to let go. But I'm afraid to let it go. My arm is burning like you would not believe and my body can barely hang on anymore but I get a sense of security from it that I am terrified to let go of.  

That Indiana Jones movie keeps coming to mind. You know where he keeps saying over and over, "The penitent man shall pass. Penitent. Penitent. The penitent man shall pass." I keep having this scene play across the movie screen of my mind... He is trying to get across that huge canyon, and he doesn't see a bridge. And he finally just steps off what he thinks is a cliff. But there is actually solid rock beneath him. I do not trust God that I will be okay if I let go of the rope. I don't. But I must.

Oh golly. 

So I googled Indiana Jones and when I clicked on the picture it linked me to this blog. Ha ha ha. Go figure.

I like the very last part about walking in love.