First Things First

For years there have been several things that have eluded me despite my energetic and passionate pursuit. I tend to be a rather goal oriented, action focused individual. I see something I like or want, and then exert a great deal of energy to get it. That is a nice quality to have and it has brought some good fruit in my life. It is not however a framework by which to operate at ALL times. There are certain types of "things" that cannot be attained in that manner. 

I was reflecting on this for some time this afternoon and noted that it is spiritual and emotional states that don't respond well to my mammoth efforts. Higher education? Yeah that worked. Money? Yeah okay. Tranquility? Contentment? Peace? Uhhhh.... not so much. The more energy I threw towards them, the further away they floated from my grasp. Has this ever happened to you? Have you ever wished that the state of being "at ease" or "in perfect peace" was a coffee shop that you could simply sit down in? Ha! Wouldn't that be nice? 

Well in fact... it is! It is an actual place. It is located within you. It is a place you must visit in your spirit. You travel there not in your body, but with your mind. And it is achieved not by reaching towards, but rather by letting go.

Am I making any sense?

First things first. You must let go before you can attain peace. You must release control, before you can rest. WHAT!? That is not how we think right? I hear ya. I tend to think that I can rest when and only when, I have taken control and checked all the things off of my to do list. In reality... I can rest once I come into agreement with the fact that there will always be things on my to do list and that there is great value in resting.  I will contribute more to my life by being rested than by having an empty to do list.

Come on! Let's try it people! This is exciting.

As a man thinketh... so is he.

"The body is the servant of the mind. It obeys the operations of the mind whether they be deliberately chosen or automatically expressed. At the bidding of unlawful thoughts the body sinks rapidly into disease and decay; at the command of glad and beautiful thoughts it becomes clothed with youthfulness and beauty.

Change of diet will not help a man who will not change his thoughts. Who does not measure his beliefs and where he places his trust. When one makes his or her thoughts pure, they no longer desire impure food. 

Strong, pure, and happy thoughts build up the body in vigor and grace. The body is a delicate and plastic instrument, which responds readily to the thought by which it is impressed and habits of thought will produce their own effects, good or bad, upon it." 

- As A Man Thinketh by: James Allen

I have recently been thinking. I am finding that I think A LOT.  But have have been giving particular attention to the effects of my thought life upon my body, upon my circumstances, upon my level of inner peace, and upon my relationships. Boy. What you think about really effects your whole world. How then can I gain discipline over my thoughts? How then can I train my mind?


I believe that trust is one major component. If our thoughts are a ship, than what we trust in is the anchor. Rather than sailing aimlessly about, I want to evaluate where my thoughts and visions are anchored before I set sail on the vast oceans of my mind.


In what do you trust? Where to you place your faith? In your family? In your self? In your job? How about your savings account or investments? And perhaps another question for some of you is, "How do I identify where I am placing my trust?"

::Tuesday's Tea With Me::

Golly it has been so cold in the mornings. It was so cold the other day my hands nearly stuck to my steering wheel. However... it's been perfect for a nice hot tea to start off the day No?


So I was fiddling with my new record player yesterday and I was trying to get certain radio stations to come in clearly. I was turning the knob this way and that, and out of the radio pops this voice that says, 

"Good intentions will not provide spiritual strength." 

I sat there thinking on that for a second and the voice kept going...

"We cannot possibly be prepared for life's challenges without practicing spiritual discipline such as fellowship, prayer, and reading about God's promises."

The man kept talking but I quickly fumbled for the off button so I could process those words before my brain moved on. That's pretty deep. 


How will I have time for spiritual disciplines such as prayer (connecting with God) if I have 5 gadgets in front of me, that with the touch of a button, connect me to people? I can become so over-connected with people that there is no opening to hear that still small voice. And frankly that quiet gentle voice is the one that really matters. It's what guides me along my very own unique path. I don't want to follow the masses. I want to be Jenna.


How can you observe a discipline daily, that will strengthen your spirit? That will cut your attention loose from all the wires and let your soul take a breath of fresh air? Is it a morning walk? Is it charging your phone in the kitchen instead of your nightstand? Is it keeping electronics out of your bedroom? Spending 20 minutes of undivided attention with one child, or one pet? Not answering phone calls for a day or two and returning messages later? How can we block all those things that seek to grab our attention and distract us. Because meaning to slow down, is not slowing down. And delayed obedience is disobedience.


Just something to think on. Love you guys. Hope this cold weather affords you a quiet moment to reflect and be intentional with your time. Your life.


Hugs,
-Jenna Jill

::Tuesday's Tea With Me::

"Each of you has received a gift to use to serve others." 

-1 Peter 4:10

 I have kept this page from an old devotional on my refrigerator for severel years now because it is one of those perspectives I need to realign my heart with regularly. I thought I would share it with you this morning: 

There is only so much sand in the hourglass. Who gets it? You know what I'm talking about, don't you?... The PTA needs a new treasurer. With your background and experience and talent and wisdom and love for kids and degree in accounting, YOU are the perfect one for the job!" It's tug-of-war, and you are the rope... "Blessed are the meek," Jesus said. The word meek does not mean weak. It means focused. It is a word to describe a domesticated stallion. Power under control. Blessed are those who recognize their God-given responsibilities. Blessed are those who acknowledge that there is only one God and have quit applying for his position. Blessed are those who know what on earth they are on earth to do and set themselves about the business of doing it.

::Tuesday's Tea With Me::

value |ˈvalyo͞o|noun1 the regard that something is held to deserve; the importance,worth, or usefulness of something: your support is of great value.

I was just thinking this morning about value. How important it is to be able to recognize value. To be able to assess something's worth, including your Self, and also to be able to assess how much you are willing to give for something of value. Good stuff.

I'll leave you with this verse to ponder as you move gently through your day. Xoxo

"Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast your pearls before the swine, lest happily they trample them under their feet, and turn and rend you." 

                                         - Matthew 7:6

The Real Me

I've been thinking a lot about our view on life. How we view things, where we find beauty, and how closely that is tied to what we value. So strange how what you value becomes what your life centers on. I really enjoy authentic people. I want to be the type of person that focuses on the higher things. The things that have greater value. The classic example is inner versus outer beauty. 

Okay well all that to say I challenged myself to put up these two photos today. I had an interesting interaction with a friend and it made me think... as much as I like editing photos and having a blast making others and myself look pretty, you can't lose sight of authenticity.

When it's hard for me to put a picture up that is real, I think I've gotten a little off balance.

 Here we go.

 Take 1

Take 2

However at the same time. When I see the first photo (pretend it's not me) what I see with my heart is the second photo. Doesn't that make you feel good? lol. Kind of strange how that works, when it's other people. When it's me the whole deal works backwards. How we see our Self is incredibly powerful.

The Soul

I was thinking today... I wonder what my soul looks like? I hope it looks something like this.

::Tuesday's Tea with Me::

“Understanding will never bring you Peace. That’s why I have instructed you to trust in me, and not your own understanding. Human beings have a voracious appetite for trying to figure things out, in order to gain a sense of mastery over their lives. But living on this earth presents you with an endless series of problems. As soon as you master one set, another pops up to challenge you. The relief you had anticipated is short-lived.”

That sense of relief is something we all seek. It is the peace that comes from being near to God. It is the same feeling we had as children when our parent would take us in their arms and all was well. As adults, our parent is God. And in His presence there is peace and rest.

Are you suffering from depression, are you overwhelmed, can’t catch a break? Do you feel like one wave after another has beaten you down, and you cannot catch a breath? Are you drowning? Or maybe you’re angry. Maybe you don’t like losing, and you feel that you haven’t been able to beat this game called life.

Believe it or not, it is not a game. As I press on in this journey I realize it is a relationship. No wonder we get so frustrated with life at times. (Y'all know relationships can be messy, unpredictable, and frustrating.) What if life is a relationship too?

You know that friend of yours who is dating the girl that is “just playing games with him.” Why do we tell him to dump her? Because love is not a game. Life is not a game. Relationships are done from the heart. This life can not be understood without a heart connection to the author of life. We are living a story, and the author is the most powerful being in existence. Trust him. (I’ll tell you a secret.... He likes good endings.)

“My peace is not an elusive goal, hidden at the center of some complicated maze. Actually, I am Peace. Draw near to me. I love you. I enjoy you. Look to me and lean not on your own understanding.”

Sometimes we must stop seeking understanding and seek God (our master and the author of our life story.)

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways submit to him and he will make your paths straight.”

Proverbs 3:5-6

Love vs. Pity

What is the difference between love and pity? Is pity a form of love? I have been pondering this over the past month. I am a deeply compassionate person and.... wait... Or AM I? Perhaps I am actually a fearful person. I am afraid of the emotional pain and hardships I see others experience. It bothers me deeply. I cannot imagine enduring it so I pity them. Am I compassionate if I look down upon people experiencing something I have not experienced? Is it helpful to that person (or group of people) to be interacted with in a way, that denotes inadequacy? Or does my pity subtly say to them, "You can't survive. You need someone. You are weak and helpless, let me be your comfort?"

I have concluded so far, that the difference between loving someone, and having pity on them, is respect.

We have all seen the following scenario before:

1. Dad

2. Mom

3. Little Billy

[Little Billy is afraid to ride his bike. And he starts crying.]

Mom: Oh come here poor Billy. I know its so scary. John just leave him be your upsetting him. He's scared.

Dad: [Sets Billy on the bike. Walks beside him.] Billy rides the bike. Maybe he even bites the dust a few times.

What is the difference between the two approaches? Mom doesn't believe Billy is ready or capable of riding the bike (right now.) Dad, knows that Billy can do it. Ultimately what dad is doing, is respecting his son for who he is, and all that's he's capable of. He sees his son as able to do things just like everyone else.

Here's the thing. Dad has the responsibility of being calmly assertive with his son. If he is forceful and aggressive with the lesson, then he rushes the process of growth and violates his sons in a different manner than mom just did. If it is dad's need for his boy to ride this darn bike, then he has gone too far the other way. However, there is a balance. If Dad walks beside his son, and demonstrates his belief that his son is ABLE, this is compassionate love. It comes out of respect and faith.

Mom on the other hand is coming from a place of fear. And her fear speaks volumes to her son without any words being exchanged at all. "You can't do it. You won't be okay. I won't be okay." This does not respect the individuality of her son. He is a separate being. He is able if given the opportunity. Our fears can limit opportunities for others. Or at least make it more difficult for them to see those opportunities.

Should we not consider these things when working with others. For certainly all of humanity is capable of great feats if they are so inclined. No matter where they are at, or what they have still to learn. We cannot learn everything all at once. Therefore all of us will have different sets of knowledge available to us. God created human beings with incredible resiliency. Though we will experience pain He will be with us in our pain, in our sorrows, as well as our joys. And if we all experience pain, perhaps it is an essential element for depth of character, for growth of the spirit within. How then can we look at others, who are experiencing this ration of humanity and look down upon them? What a disservice we do them, by not respecting the possibilities that are before them. By not having faith in them. In God.

“Pity” is an emotional response based on fear and misunderstanding. We “look down into a pit” and see someone in a condition very different from ourselves. From our vantage point far above them, we can enumerate all the things that separate “us” from “them”. We work to keep “them” at arm’s length, throwing things into the proverbial pit that we think will alleviate the misery down there, but not considering how we might help the person get out. We focus so much on the current condition they’re in that we don’t look at the potential of where they might be. We become so consumed by fear (“Oh, what if that were me—thank God that’s not me—I couldn’t imagine living like that!” that it restricts our response to actions that will preserve our position of power. We think that, if we can maintain that “higher ground,” we’ll somehow insulate ourselves from the possibility of future challenges for ourselves.

When we “have pity on” another person, we rob them of their essential humanity. Putting anything “on” someone else implies that we are the ones in control. “Having compassion for” someone is completely different. It preserves the common ground between us and them. To me at least, “for” is more active, more interactive, than “on” when other people are involved. You, as the person responding in compassion, must decide how involved “for” is going to be, and you also must accept that the other person’s response to “for them” might not be what you expect.

-Life Between the Notes

So stick that in your pipe and smoke it.

Signs

.

::Tuesday's Tea with Me::

Now this really knocked my socks off. God actually says No. He says no to us, he does. So it would be real good for me to get it down because then... I will represent Him better. God please teach me to say No to the things that you would say No to, and to be open and receptive to the things in my life that you say Yes to.

"We call people bad because they do not do what we want them to. We judge them for being themselves for fulfilling their wishes. We withdraw love from them when they do what they feel is best for them, but it is not what we want them to do."

-Boundaries, Cloud & Townsend

We do? Oh yes my friends. We DO!

How come we have such a hard time letting people just be themselves? Could we be thinking that if they don't except my invitation that means they don't like me? They don't want to spend time with me. But if there are strings attached, namely to make you feel good, it's really not an invitation at all now is it? It's a demand. An expectation that they meet your need.

Whoa whoa! Slow down. I'm just sitting here enjoying my cup of tea and talking to myself. If it hits home well at least I'm not the only one. Ha ha. Cuz I totally do this to people. All my friends are probably dying laughing right now.

Which reminds me of something someone shared with me just last week about getting offended. She said, "Do not always assume that if you are offended by something, that someone else did something wrong. Stop and consider the occasion and perhaps it is God that is offending you. Pointing His finger at an area where you are assuming something you shouldn't." Oh. I knew that. Yeah. Totally.