I mean it... "No?"

I've been thinking about very deep things lately. Mostly because I have very deep things going on in my life. This morning I was thinking about the word "No." Seems simple. But don't be fooled. Then I began to think how peculiar it is that I have such a hard time forming that word in various situations. It would seem I could just roll it off my tongue and out myself and my true feelings. But actually saying no has to do with more than just the ability to speak. It's having boundaries and a healthy view of yourself and an awareness of how you are feeling. Recently I have discovered a way in which I have a very unhealthy understanding of giving. Holy COW! I know it shocked me too.

If you won't say "no" to anybody, then everybody will witness you crash and burn. If something is so out of balance in your life that you do it with everyone, then don't be surprised when all those same people witness the consequences. If you eat so much all the time and never say no, then everyone will be able to see that you're over weight. If you can't say no to anything and get so stressed out, then you're going to have to tell everyone no once you have a stroke and are unable to do what they ask. If you refuse to forgive and get offended by everyone, the whole world will see that you don't have any deep and lasting friendships. Sometimes public lessons are the ones that finally get our attention. After all, isn't part of the purpose of us being healthy, so that we are able to have strong relationships with those around us?

If I try to be strong for everyone all the time, it will come as no surprise when I crumble to pieces. Vulnerability is important. Realistic expectations of ourselves are vital. Balance. How do we balance our relational life? Appearing strong all the time is a lie. And if I try to look like I have it together all the time, then I'm lying. And lies always catch up to us sooner or later.

I wish I had the answer to balancing one's relational life but I'm afraid that is the very thing I have little skill in. Ha. So feel free to come along on the journey if you can identify. I've already been spending time with some people who are fabulous balancers of all things social. They completely fascinate me. And though I've only been on this journey a few weeks the one thing I have noticed is that they are not particularly the most social of all beings. They socialize, but intentionally and also intentionally have down time to process and think about what occurred during their social time. Brilliant. It's brilliant. Now how exactly do I practice this...