I'm in one of those places in life where I am looking for God to speak to me and give me direction. Whenever I find myself in that place I start reading the signs. Literally. So I thought I would share some of the headlines and phrases that have popped out at me recently:
Dip a toe into timeless waters each morning...
(this sounds like something Laura Ayers would say.)
A House Too Small May Be A Blessing
Blow up your TV,
Throw away your paper,
Move to the country,
Build you a home.
Plant a little garden,
Eat a lot of peaches,
Try to find Jesus
On your own.
(lol. You may have seen this one.)
Whoever loves money, never has money enough;
whoever loves wealth is never satisfied with his income.
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Monday, June 20, 2011
A while back I stayed with my Aunt and Uncle for the weekend and discovered this great photo of my Nana. This is my father's mother and I was so struck by our resemblance. My father is the youngest of five children and my Nana looked nothing like this when I was a small child. I've been having lots of fun comparing. :)
Monday, June 13, 2011
Sunday, June 12, 2011
The girls and I decided to play in the warmth of the sunshine this afternoon. Check out Queen Sydney. Lol. I can't stop laughing about the photo below. Too funny. She is really a bright patch of joy in my life. And don't forget prim and proper Kia and her perfect poses.
I could not have written this any better. Jen Disney is the bomb. Genuinely. ;) Check out her blog post on vulnerability. The video was like a punch in my gut.
So this leads me to the realization that I don't really pay very close attention to how I'm feeling. Is anyone else out there like me? I think I start feeling disconnection way off in some island of my soul, and then I run to people and distract myself with meaningless chatter. But do I ever stop and consider the source of my disconnection? Or even put a name to my feelings?
Kind of like hunger. I don't really stop each day and say "Oh. I am feeling hungry now. I shall stop what I am doing, and feed my body." But rather, I unconsciously gravitate towards the food. And now that I think about it, the more disconnected I am from the realization of my hunger, the worse I eat. If I am all stressed out and forget to pay attention to that feeling, I tend to grab whatever is available.
Saturday, June 11, 2011
I've been thinking about very deep things lately. Mostly because I have very deep things going on in my life. This morning I was thinking about the word "No." Seems simple. But don't be fooled. Then I began to think how peculiar it is that I have such a hard time forming that word in various situations. It would seem I could just roll it off my tongue and out myself and my true feelings. But actually saying no has to do with more than just the ability to speak. It's having boundaries and a healthy view of yourself and an awareness of how you are feeling. Recently I have discovered a way in which I have a very unhealthy understanding of giving. Holy COW! I know it shocked me too.
If you won't say "no" to anybody, then everybody will witness you crash and burn. If something is so out of balance in your life that you do it with everyone, then don't be surprised when all those same people witness the consequences. If you eat so much all the time and never say no, then everyone will be able to see that you're over weight. If you can't say no to anything and get so stressed out, then you're going to have to tell everyone no once you have a stroke and are unable to do what they ask. If you refuse to forgive and get offended by everyone, the whole world will see that you don't have any deep and lasting friendships. Sometimes public lessons are the ones that finally get our attention. After all, isn't part of the purpose of us being healthy, so that we are able to have strong relationships with those around us?
If I try to be strong for everyone all the time, it will come as no surprise when I crumble to pieces. Vulnerability is important. Realistic expectations of ourselves are vital. Balance. How do we balance our relational life? Appearing strong all the time is a lie. And if I try to look like I have it together all the time, then I'm lying. And lies always catch up to us sooner or later.
I wish I had the answer to balancing one's relational life but I'm afraid that is the very thing I have little skill in. Ha. So feel free to come along on the journey if you can identify. I've already been spending time with some people who are fabulous balancers of all things social. They completely fascinate me. And though I've only been on this journey a few weeks the one thing I have noticed is that they are not particularly the most social of all beings. They socialize, but intentionally and also intentionally have down time to process and think about what occurred during their social time. Brilliant. It's brilliant. Now how exactly do I practice this...
Thursday, June 9, 2011
There is something so important about the way we view ourselves. I don't think we realize all the lenses we use from which to see our Self. We are what we believe. But what is True? We need to believe what is true. I have found no better place to discover truths about myself and this life, than in the Bible.
It is there that my creator has written to me, and shared His heart for me:
You may not know me but I know everything about you... Psalm 139:1 I know when you sit down and when you rise up... Psalm 139:2 I am familiar with all your ways... Psalm 139:3 Even the very hairs on your head are numbered... Matthew 10:23-31 For you were made in my image... Genesis 1:27 In me you live and move and have your being... Acts 17:28 For you are my offspring... Acts 17:28 I knew you even before you were conceived... Jeremiah 1:4-5 I chose you when I planned creation... Ephesians 1:11-12 You were not a mistake... Psalm 139:15 For all your days are written in my book... Psalm 139:16 I determined the exact time of your birth and where you would live... Acts 17:26 You are fearfully and wonderfully made... Psalm 139:14 I have been misrepresented by those who do not know me... John 3:41 I am not distant and angry, but am the complete expression of love... 1 John 4:16 And it is my desire to lavish my love on you... 1 John 3:1 Simply because you are my child and I am your Father... 1 John 3:1 I offer you more than your earthly Father ever could... Matthew 7:11 For I am the perfect Father... Matthew 5:43 Every good gift that you receive comes from my hand... James 1:17 One day I will wipe away every tear from your eyes... Revelation 21:3 And I'll take away all the pain you have suffered on this earth... Revelation 21:4
And it is out of His great love for me that he has created a place where He does not exist. I am often asked, "How could such a loving God create a place like Hell? Surely there is no Hell."
Today I realized, if there is no place where God is not present, then we would not have a true choice. He loves me so much that he gives me a choice not to be with him. He will not force himself or his ways on me. Hell is the ultimate expression of God's love. He honors and respects us to the point, that He would allow us to choose not to be present with him.
Now I see.. that this life is a chance to date God. And in the end... we get to choose if we want to marry Him or not.
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
"Resiliency is an important factor in living.The winds of life may bend us, but if we have resilience of spirit, they cannot break us.To courageously straighten again after our heads have been bowed by defeat, disappointment, and suffering is the supreme test of character."
... this test too I shall pass. Lord I refuse to shut you out from any area of my life. Come in to my weaknesses and make me strong.